day 110: bite me

No, really. Someone please bite me ... and take with you a huge chunk of fleshy fatness, maybe then I'll lose some weight! Some how, in the last seven days I have managed to GAIN 4.2 pounds!

I've been working out, eating better (and more frequently to keep the metabolism up), but clearly that slip-up at the Dairy Queen drive-thru last Sunday did me in. Damn those enticing blizzard commericals. Damn. Damn. Damn.

I have just 13.5 days left in the weight-loss competition at work and the current leaders have lost 6, 7 and 9% to my paltry little 3%. Boo.

It's time to rethink my strategy.

day 103: in the homestrech

ACK! Just weighed in my office "Biggest Loser" challenge. Pfft!

Though I did really well with food choices this past week (not one ding dong passed these lips), my efforts weren't rewarded with a great number. In fact, the scale taunted me with a mere .4 pound loss ... I think the damn thing even said, "Mwaaahahaha!" when the display read 206.8. What a B.

Hit the gym at lunch and knocked out 300 calories on the eliptiKILL, who-hoo. Just need to do that 12 times everyday for the next 21 days and I should be all set. ;)

Anywhoo, 9 weeks down, three left to go, with 13.8 pounds left to shed to reach my personal goal.

day 96: Fat Chants article

My lastest Fat Chants article has just been published over on Moms Out Loud (yay!). Check it out here ...

p.s. It was written a few days ago, so it doesn't reflect this AM's success on the scale. ;)

day 96: half-way, baby

At my highest (which was, understandably, one of the lowest points in my life), I tipped the scales at a whopping 260 big ones. It was the height of my infertility issues and I ate to fill the void in my heart. But, post-fertility procedures/specialist/meds, I shed 45 pounds and got preggars.

Now, two-plus years later I am thrilled to report that I am more than half-way to my “goal weight” of 155(ish) — I use “goal weight” loosely as I don’t have a clue what anything below 193 looks like on me (and a trainer I talked to said BMI is total bubkis). ;)

I weighed this AM and am back down to 207, which means I’ve relost the 11 pounds (5% of body weight) I dropped during the first month of the Biggest Loser challenge at work (down 53 from highest point/20%)! In the big-picture view, 11 pounds isn’t much compared to what I still need to “defluff,” but, as anyone who’s ever battled weight issues (and the deeply rooted emotional ties that come along with them) knows, ANY loss is something to celebrated (w/o the cake, of course).

So, this is me, shouting from the roof tops, “who-hoo! I’m half-way, baby!”

Four weeks left to go … hope to kick some serious coworker butt.

day 94: something to think about

This post is a bit of a departure from my typical food-related rants, but I felt compelled to share this post (which is also on my parenting blog):

Motherhood: it’s an experience fraught with contradictions. It is at once beautiful and messy, exhilarating and exhausting, amazing and agonizing. It is a winding journey that is so filled with certainty and uncertainty, with self-confidence and self-doubt that most of us never really know which way is up (or down for that matter … although crunch a Lego with your bare foot in the middle of the night and you’ll quickly remember).

That said, it is amazing to me that once we cross that threshold from womanhood to motherhood, that we don’t automatically assume a “solidarity” type of mentality. I think supporting our fellow mamas should complete our transformation — wider hips, droopy boobs, empathy for anyone who sleeps with Cheerios in the bed and wears snot remnants on her sleeve.

I’m the first to admit that my automatic compassion switch didn’t flick “on” when Cooper came out. But an e-mail I received tonight has made it clear that I need to super glue, nail, duct tape my switch to the full and upright position … I don’t ever want to be responsible for making another mom feel the way I do right now:

“You and Chris cannot tell me how much you love little Cooper UNTIL you show yourselves that you love him enough to stop the food addiction cycle.”

This is just a small portion from an e-mail written in response to Sunday's post.

It is the only sentence that matters.

I believe in my heart of hearts that the sender wrote out of love and concern. I know the intentions were good. But daring to question my love for my son … that simply negates any good that was intended.

I’m truly at a loss …

day 93: holy headache

Yow-zah! I always loathe the return from gluttony … it gives me a raging headache — I’m currently nearing migraine level. UGH. But, I deserve it … it’s my body’s way of reminding me what an idiot I’ve been (just wish the reminder didn’t have to be quite so intense).

Aside from the vice grip on my brain, today has been pretty good, like waffle (plain whole-grain, low-fat), vanilla yogurt, lean pocket kind of good. I won’t be attempting the gym, as my vision is pretty suspect at this point, but going from the all-you-can-eat ding-dong buffet (wow, does that sound as euphemistic to anyone else, lol?) to low-cal, low-fat is a great start.

Bonus? This throbbing head situation will have my big ol’ butt in bed as soon as Cooper says, “night, night,” which means less hours to look longingly at the fridge.

day 92: coming out of the closet

Oops, sorry Tammy ... here ya' go, thrilled to know someone's still reading. ;)

Do you know where I found myself at 6:05 Friday morning? Sitting in my closet, eating a ding dong. And, as pathetic as that may sound, it wasn’t my first … nor was it my last that day (I also went on to eat donuts at the office, cheese enchiladas for lunch, more donuts on the way home and an Italian feast for dinner).

Sitting in my closet, not tasting the cake, but rather inhaling it, I shoved the last bite in my mouth just as the hubs walked in. BUSTED. Oops.

I chalk the non-stop eat-a-thon up to that fun little hormone surge that signals the start of the monthly yuck (some days I totally long for boy parts). Well, PMS and a complete disregard for my hot mama mission (and anything not related to food and/or its consumption).

In all honesty though, I’ve been a pretty bad little binger lately … so much so that hiding in the closet doesn’t come as much of a shock to me …

I did really well the week before … focused and determined. But with Cooper’s 2nd birthday BBQ bash last Saturday, well, I let the food fly … straight down the gullet, filling my gut until I literally cringed in pain. Niiiiice!

I know I’m an emotional eater, I know my triggers, which for most heavyweights is the greatest truth … if you know the problem, then you can seek to fix it (or avoid it, or have a plan in place to deal with it). But lately, I’ve given myself license to be weak.

But, as much as I know my issues, I also know how to get back on track — a project! So, I dedicated today as “garage clean-out” day. I love, love, love to clean out. Read: HATE to clean, LOVE to clean OUT. I’ve always found the purging of things and the organizing of stuff to be a completely cathartic experience. Plus, thanks to the early on-set of sweltering Texas temps, I could see the ding dongs and donuts literally sweating out of my pores. YAY!

Nearly five hours and a gallon of water later, I feel really, really good (well, emotionally anyway, physically my back and hips are reeling from the sudden exertion, but even that reminds me that I lifted something more than a ding dong today, who-hoo!).

There are about 3 weeks left in my office Biggest Loser challenge and I intend to make the most of them. I’ve lost (and gained) the same 11 pounds over and over since the start of the competition 9 weeks ago. And I know if I don’t work my rear off to get under 200 by the end of it, I will be completely disgusted with myself (not to mention, I’m still dying to zip up that damn zipper, lol).

It’s my goal to weigh-in at 193 at the end of Biggest Loser … that’s the number I was at last summer when I was totally on track. So, back to blogging (it always helps!), back to the gym and back to being the on-track me I know I can be…which means coming (and staying) out of the closet. ;)

p.s. We have weigh-in on Wednesday, so I’ll post then how far I am from goal. I started the challenge at 218. And have been at 207 off and on throughout … would love to hear from anyone else sweatin’ through the summer!